the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
