Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
