My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
