i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
