I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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