fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
where are you?
Hypothermia
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
