I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
