She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
