i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
