then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
