I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
