Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
