You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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