I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
