Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
