So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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