I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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