Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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