What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
