But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
