if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
