my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
