Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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