If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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