So gin and wine won't be happening again
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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