it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Randomize
