I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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