i think my tv is drunk
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
My vagina just recognized that song.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
