She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
