barbara walters just said penis...
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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