I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
