If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
