There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
