We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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