I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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