Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
so much tequila, so little girl.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
