don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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