where am i from again
you would pick up someone in the library
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Randomize
