STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
no you cant smoke seaweed
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
