she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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