this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I wish life had little blips of pornography
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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