New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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