Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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