And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
