your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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