I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
