It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
She bit a glass in half.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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