I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
