You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
We left the knife in your bed.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
