I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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