I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Randomize
