Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Define "chronic" masturbator.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Randomize
