god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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